Notes from Julie Strauss-Gable's First Pages Session

In case you don't know, a "first pages" session is one where writers can anonymously submit the first page of a manuscript, which an industry professional (in this case, Julie S-G) critiques before her attentive audience. Some of these sessions are a total waste of time to attend and some provide great insight into the editor/agent's interests, editing style, and (if you submit a page) your own manuscript. Julie S-G didn't disappoint. She zipped through pages rapidly enough that we had time at the end for a few questions; but she didn't skimp on providing meaty critique.

Here are some of the common complaints she had about picture book first pages:

• The story is targeted at too mature a reader. She said to remember that the picture book market is driven by the younger end reader, so concepts need to be simple, characters young, and rhythm/pacing/theme especially appropriate to children 4 to 6 years old.


• In stories with repetition: several times, she commented on a lack of consistency in the pattern or a lack of "expected rhythm" for the child to anticipate and follow.


• In some, the story ideas were nice, but they didn't build. The story became just a series of examples. For example, one story featured pairs of animals related to each other in some way. (I won't get too specific for the author's privacy). The pairing concept was interesting, the story language lovely--but the story didn't build in any way. Ask yourself, Julie said, how to encourage page turns? How will each creature pair be illustrated? Will their environments be too similar? A picture book needs to use variety in settings.


• In some, the complaint was that the story didn't provide enough comfort for young readers--whether that comes in the form of repeated phrases, repeated paragraph or sentence structure, or in the characters themselves.


• Another common complaint: the picture book that contains too much explaining or scene setting. For ex., a picture book about a labradoodle can't contain paragraphs explaining what a labradoodle is.

Take-homes for me: First, that Julie S-G is a fabulous editor and I'd love to have a first page critiqued by her; second, that picture books have a number of definable elements that help them to work:

• Strong, unique characters


• Variety of settings or scenes


• Repetition in the language or story format


• Comfort for young children


• Fun for the adult reader


• Spare, spare, language where every word counts


• A building story line with a surprise of some sort at the end.

It makes me itch to work on my picture book ideas again--but I'm kind of busy with other projects still and I'm *trying* not to start more until I have some closure on the others.

:) Cheryl

What we'll do in the name of writing....

Disclaimer: This is a sort-of continuation of Thursday's post, so if you're confused, don't blame me :).


That said...here are ten ideas for how you might stretch yourself this summer:

1. Spend a week traveling in a country where you don't speak the language. (Obviously, but I had to recommend it.)


2. For the fantasy writer: learn pottery, archery, sword making, paper-making, or another craft that might be useful to your fantasy character.


3. Jump out of an airplane (with supervision and a parachute, of course.)


4. Learn to ride a horse, sail a boat, or raise emus.


5. Provide a home for an assistance dog-in-training.


6. Learn to sail a boat.


7. Volunteer somewhere you usually wouldn't. Like China or Haiti.


8. Take lifeguard training.


9. Sleep outside under the stars.


10. Hike the Appalachian trail.

And in case you're not convinced, take a look at Dick Francis's books. Each of his characters has a different profession and half the book involves learning about it. Or check out Alane Ferguson's Forensic Mystery series or Elizabeth Wrenn's Around the Next Corner. To various degrees, these awesome writers all lived their research. When we let ourselves meet life-changing experiences, we gain the insight to write about characters who do the same.

:) Cheryl

Today's News: A Voice!

My recent travel to Peru inspired a new book idea--but a book that's completely different from what I usually write: YA rather than midgrade, with a touch of romance, and without even a hint of fantasy. I had a great character, great story concept, great setting--but I couldn't get the voice. And I couldn't sleep, because this story wants to be written.

So at 3:00 am or so Saturday morning, I pulled out one of my journals from high school and started to read. Wow. What a roller coaster! I remember a lot about being a kid, but reading the day to day account pulled me back into the memories and emotions. And yesterday I spent three intense hours in a coffee shop writing the first few chapters. I've got the voice. Weird and wonderful.

Have any journals from your childhood? If not, beg, borrow, or blackmail your friends into letting you read theirs. (Never read someone else's without permission, though. That earns you an eternity without books or paper....) And rediscover your voice.

~Cheryl

Me at 16: "I may be 'sweet sixteen,' and I've had my first kiss (even if it was the grossest and most disgusting thing imaginable,) but all of my experience with 'love' has been more disappointment than anything else."

Market Analysis: Highlights for Children

Earlier this week, I spotlighted Highlights as a great break-in market for children's writers. Today's topic? How to do it!

First, the basics:

1. Read (and follow) their guidelines: http://www.highlights.com/custserv/customerservicesubgateway2main.jsp?iCategoryID=203&CCNavIDs=3,203 That seems like advice too basic to include, but you'd be surprised how many people don't bother to follow simple instructions....


2. Study their needs: http://www.highlights.com/custserv/customerservicecontent2main.jsp?iContentID=2552&iCategoryID=203&CCNavIDs=3,203


3. Check out their mission: FUN, but with a PURPOSE.


4. Study the magazine for article content, writing style, and format.

In my opinion, the most valuable step in the process is to study the magazine. So, what's in this month's Highlights? A quick survey turns up the obvious--a poem, a few short stories, a few nonfiction pieces, two pages of crafts, the monthly feature "Ask Arizona," The Timbertoes, a rebus story, riddles, puzzles, and the science corner. That info helps you figure out if Highlights is the right market for your story, article, craft, or puzzle.

Next: take an in-depth look at the type of piece you want to sell. Do you want to submit a short story? Take a look at "The Mystery of the Ghost in the Wall." Hmm...about 800 words long, written for Highlights' older readers, this story has a quick-talking narrator and a math tie-in. Almost every paragraph is one to two sentences long--the story moves. Description? Minimal. Dialog? It occurs in short bursts separated by transitions, tight one-sentence scene-setting descriptions, actions, and internal dialog (aka, the narrator's thoughts.)

What about a craft? Turn to page 32 for the craft line up. These crafts have only 4-6 steps and no list of "what you need." Instead, supplies are shown in the text of each craft, highlights in bold. Word counts are low. What kinds of crafts to they feature? One toy rocket, one card craft, one decorative magnet, one Valentine-themed mask, and a treasure chest/treasure map craft pair encouraging active play.

By taking a close look at the pieces a magazine has published, you can get a vision for the types of pieces they like. Skeptical? That's how I sold my first article--but more on that later.

:) Cheryl

Thoughts on Culture: Similarities and Differences

Culture: "the characteristic features of everyday existence... shared by people in a place or time" (from Merriam-Webster Online.)


One of the things we do, as children's writers, is help kids connect with people from other cultures. But how? Here are some of the similarities and differences you might consider in other cultures:

1. Children's games: Children in Peru play with dolls and toy cars, chase each other through the market, and talk to their stuffed animals, just as they do in the U.S. And yet, I bet they have some games new to the average gringo. Games make great articles!


2. Children's behavior: On a hot day, a ten-year-old hides a water balloon behind his back to sabotage a friend--just like one of the kids on my block. A 2-year-old drags at his mother's hand in universal 2-year-old language. But I also saw something new: kids having a shaving cream battle.


3. Family fun: Preschoolers and their mothers feed crackers to the geese and fish, just like I used to do with my youngest. Friends laugh over cold drinks--although the drinks are more likely to be Inca Cola (above) than Coke.


4. Daily life: In Lima, elementary-aged children walk between cars stopped at a traffic signal, juggling tennis balls or selling pins or simply asking for coins. In Cuzco, Chechuan children earn money by posing for tourists' photos. In the U.S., brothers fiddle together on the downtown mall, collecting dollars in their cases. Similar. Different.


5. Transportation: In Cuzco, few people own cars. Instead, they ride public "combi" routes with names like Batman and Robin, or take one of the ever-present taxis. Cars are expensive; but public transport is inexpensive and readily available.

When we weave details of culture into our stories--whether cultural similarities or cultural differences--we celebrate the humankind in its many forms. And, on a practical level, the details make for richer, more believable writing. What things do you take for granted in your own culture? Take notice. And then write.

:) Cheryl

Transformative Travel

One of the most valuable things I gained--both as a writer and as a person--from my recent trip to Peru was completely unexpected. The trip changed me. It changed the way I see the world, the way I see myself, and the way I see the faith and love and peace and joy. Why is this important for my writing? Because as writers, we portray our characters as they grow and change. The best way to capture the emotions of transformation is to go through it ourselves.

In Criss-Cross, the 2006 Newberry Medal winner, a character says:

"I think...that it's a good thing to get out of your usual, you know, surroundings. Because you find things out about yourself that you didn't know, or you forgot. And then you go back to your regular life and you're changed, you're a little bit different, becuase you take those new things with you."

That was my experience in Peru. I returned to the States with a better handle on my values, with a bit thicker skin, and with a new clarity of purpose for writing. I also returned with a passion to write this self-discovery into a novel. Change, self-discovery, growth: these are the things a reader identifies with in a character.

Today's challenge: Do something out of the ordinary. Put yourself in a new situation, one that forces your to be brave, to be self-reliant, to discover new aspects of yourself. Nurture your own transformation. What can you do in the next six months that is radically different from your normal life? Learn to skydive? Join a soccer team? Take a weekend trip over the border? Heck, take a quick trip to Lima? Commit. Stretch yourself.

Then write about it.

And hey, let me know what happens!

:) Cheryl

Working with Kids--Inspiration Galore!

Last week, I began volunteer work in my younger son's 4th grade classroom. I get to meet one-on-one with students and discuss their writing with them. My job is to help them narrow their topics and find areas where they can be more specific, show rather than tell, or add more details to their stories. It's a blast! I love connecting with these kids and, hopefully, helping them to get excited about writing.

It's also incredibly inspiring for my own writing. Each week, I get a first-hand glimpse into these kids' lives through their writing. Here are some of the things 4th-graders write about:

• Pokemon games (including which Pokemon they've collected, how they've evolved, and which are their favorites)


• An older brother who pulled someone down the stairs by her legs, and the tickle retaliation that ensued


• A "best trick" contest that involved jumping off the sofa into a gargantuan pillow pile


• A lost and found pet mouse


• A hose-squirting water battle that turned into a fist fight


• Sneaking down to the beach at a vacation house--and getting caught by parents


• A little sister who filled her swimsuit full of sand

Sometimes it's easy to forget that things that seem unimportant from our "grownup" viewpoints are big and real to kids. Kids are learning everything for the first time: how to solve problems, deal with lost pets, be best at something. They throw their whole hearts into life. Games, brothers, parents, fights--these are important.

I set out to help, and in return I've received a gift. Maybe that's the way life works.

:) Cheryl

Books I Wish I'd Written

I'm re-reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. Talk about a book I wish I'd written! It captures perfectly the romance I daydreamed of when I was a somewhat-lonely junior in high school. Not that I daydreamed of vampires--but I daydreamed about someone like Edward Cullen, someone strong, mysterious, handsome, and a little bit dangerous. Someone fascinating who was, in turn, fascinated by me.

One thing that strikes me as I re-read it is that Edward and Bella's relationship is somewhat politically incorrect. He's always rescuing her! It's one of those unwritten rules that writers follow: female characters should be strong, independent, and do their fair share of the rescuing. And yet...there's something incredibly alluring about the idea of being rescued by someone strong and kind, even if he is a bit dangerous. (Maybe especially if he's a bit dangerous.) Obviously, Stephanie does it well: the rescue scenes release floods of memories and emotions for me.

How's she pull it off? Well, her main character is physically clumsy and a trouble-magnet, so she needs a bit of rescuing--but she's smart, introspective, and interesting, not at all weak. Maybe the key is that she might need the occasional physical rescue, but she can rescue Edward on a deeper, non-physical level. Bella is so darn likable, the reader doesn't mind that she keeps requiring rescue.

However Stephanie does her magic, she made me remember to explore those depths of childhood and adolescent emotion in my writing. Even if my youthful fantasies weren't all PC, they were true--and Stephanie Meyer's shown that truth sells.

:) Cheryl